Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize