The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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