oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
