He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Success! We fucked roommates!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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