At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
