Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
