VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
