$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Randomize
