I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
