I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he shaved USA in his pubs
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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