Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
