on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize