Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
