i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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