i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
