How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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