But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
