well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
