this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
