Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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