guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
