hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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