Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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