Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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