i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize