im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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