just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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