Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
