I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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