There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize