apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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