Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've blown a few things in my day
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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