Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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