i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
