i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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