i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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