My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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