So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
