dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
