theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
