We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
