East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize