Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need to calm my uterus...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
