I am puke
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
