I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
