i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
