I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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