Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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