she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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