even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
