It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I want to make a zoo with you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He did a backflip because drugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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