apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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