I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
