Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fill condoms, not promises.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
