oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
