now i know why i became what i already was.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize