I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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