Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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