last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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