I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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