loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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