you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize